Yesterday I heard an inspiring message from Shelley Haslett, a friend of mine. She spoke at Vernon Women in Business about her experience of surving cancer, not once, but twice. Shelley is a Mary Kay Sales Director. She constantly volunteers in the community and she is an amazing mentor when it comes to how to lead in your personal and business life with integrity. I've been lucky to experience her mentorship on several occasions working on the Woman of the Year committee, and prior to that when she was Past President of Women in Business and I was President.
She is truly an inspiring woman and a double masectomy survivor. She told our captivated group of ladies that when her second breast was lopped off, she thought it would be a piece of cake to have reconstructive surgery and essentially get a new body. In fact, the surgeons moved her fatty tissue from her stomach to reconstruct her breasts. She said she was wrong. It took more than six months of recovery after some complications, and left her with a lot of scars.
Although she is healthy now and looked smashing in the very bright pink suit jacket she was wearing, her point was to tell us what we can do for a friend or family member who is going through cancer. Paraphrasing, these are Shelley's suggestions:
You can make them a meal and drop it off in a dish that doesn't have to be returned, offer to drive them to their chemo treatment, send a card, give a phone call, go for a short visit, pick up a few groceries, wash their hair, massage their feet or take them cookies. If you're a good friend, offer to clean their bathrooms or vacuum, and don't take no for an answer. The one thing that cancer patients also appreciate is getting invitations to events or dinner parties, even though they probably won't be feeling good enough to attend. They just want to know that life is going on normally, and they want to feel included. (That part always tears me up, even in writing this.)
At the end of her speech, Shelley gave away a book called Chicken Soup for the Cancer Survivor's Soul.
During Shelley's speech yesterday, I was thinking of a man who I sent a used book to and wondered how he was doing with his cancer treatment. Ironically in the timing, last night after an early Thanksgiving supper with my family he emailed me.
I had sent him Lance Armstrong's book "It's not about the bike" as a source of inspiration quite a number of months ago. I've never met this man in person. He is our newspaper advertising rep and I've only spoken to him on the phone or emailed him. But when I emailed him to do some advertising about six to nine months ago, he emailed back that he would be away from the office for a while to undergo cancer treatment. His email said he would be checking his messages periodically. So I decided to ask him for his home address so I could send him a copy of an inspiring book about surviving cancer by Lance Armstrong.
Quite honestly, it took me a good two months after that to locate the book. I bought two copies of it at a used book store in Kelowna. One copy for me and one for him. I attached a note to it that said something like, "hope you don't mind that it's gently used, ha ha." Then, I mailed it off quietly wondering if he was well, sick, or even alive.
Here is what his email said to me yesterday (it has been edited slightly and his name removed for privacy):
"I am sorry I have not acknowledged the gift of the book till now but it arrived back in the summer when I was staying at my parents and I put it aside on one of my brief visits home.
I started chemo today and I rediscovered it back on the weekend while I was cleaning up.
I read some then and decided to take it with me to my first session today. I am now on Chapter 8. I have just read 2 chapters at home and I am not much of a reader as such.
I also have not been all that big on Lance in the past as he was my definition of a wise ass american. He tells a good story though and he has my attention.
Actually it is the best I have come across in telling the experience I am going through. Our experiences are similar, his is just a higher level of an experience.
But I think the effects and the prognosis of a new leaf, a new life after cancer is the same.
I read his 3 chapters on the cancer treatment during mine today and it was interesting timing.
It helped me get through it. My last session was back in May so it has been a while. I have been dreading today and the return to the cancer ward.
I overheard this today about chemo. Let me set it up first though.
Some of us take a bottle with a pressure flow thing to administer chemo over 24 or 48 hours to attack the cells that were asleep when you get the IV drip master dose at the hospital. It is attached with an IV.
They told the guy that if he drops it and it breaks, to put a bag around it and bring it in right away. Do not get any on your skin or it will burn you.
Burn our skin, yet it is running through our body. It just seems wrong. As Lance put it, the chemo hurts more than the cancer.
I want to thank you so much for sending this, even if this book has been experienced before, ha ha. A good story should be shared more than once. I will pass it on as well.
So thank you Courtenay for this gift and the clarity it is giving me. I sure appreciate it. Thanks."
When I got this email yesterday, I shared it with my family. My husband shed a tear, and we were all moved, inspired, and humbled.
To all of my friends and family, and even business associates whom I've never met in person, before we sit down to a turkey dinner, let's give thanks for our health and for each other. I appreciate all of the people in my life and wish them good health. If you read this post, please send me a message. I would love to hear from you, truly.
cheers, Courtenay
my blog: http://www.vernongirl.com
my Lava Marketing business website: http://www.lavamarketing.ca
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